Thoughts of an RP... Episode Tango

Haven

Embrace the tears of heaven,
swirve into the velvet sky like a worry-free raven.
Taking comfort that mortal life is but a mere tavern,
a stop before the arduous journey in search of one's haven.


++ Colourful Farcade ++

Busked in morning's golden glory,
bathed in sweet scented dew.
Delved deep within a lush emerald field,
a lonesome crimson rose bloom.

The week was spent engaging in a major exercise...and as I peered across the increasing number of vehicles that seems to move in doves...a perculiar thought struck me. Seeing that many owned their very own posh and expensive looking automobiles...I really wonder...is this what everyone is craving for ?...is this what everyone is willing to slog and labour for ?....a lap of luxury and " Plasti-caded" life where a sense of materialism rules over all logic. Despite the seemingly "perfect" world it promises...how many a times has it caused one to feel a tingling sense of emptiness ?...causing many to only realize that the path was in fact not as ideal as one would have thought...akin to a lonely rose in a beautiful world of wilderness.

What is it that we are striving for ?
material wealth or spiritual enlightenment ?
I'm neither a money grabbing rat nor a holy saint....
just a simple guy who is constantly lost in the wilderness of life.......

What is it I want from life ?.......I don't know......
maybe just a life of my own.

Mirror...Mirror...On the Crimson wall...What do you see happening on this fateful fall ?

What do I fear most in life ?
Darkness ?
Loneliness ?
Poverty ?
Regrets ??...

What would I most likely shed a tear for ?
Sentimental movies ?
Death ?
Failure in my cause ?
Rejection ??...

What/Who do I cherished the most ?
Memories ?
My family ?
My friends ?
Her??...

Ever since young, during playtimes in nurseries and kindergarten, whenever the teacher asks me what were my ambitions and dreams, I always replied her with a clueless grin.

Was I to be a fireman/policeman/soldier(urg!) ?
No...for I was not brave enough.
Was I to be a businessman ?
No...for I lacked courage to venture into the unknown.
Was I to be a teacher ?
Never...for I lacked patience...
Or so I thought.

My life have often been stagnated by my failure to take decisive actions in order to achieve my desired happiness. My friends state that I am always afraid...even when trying to court a girl. I have yet to make the first move...merely deep down hoping for some miracle happening...entrusting my life to fate...maybe someday she will know...maybe someday she will chance upon this entry and know who I am. Perhaps someday I may finally present myself to her...when I have overcome the fear of rejection...hence I will finally lead a life of no regrets.

COURAGE...the sole sword of LIGHT in a DARK world of FEAR.

The Epitome of cowardice = Me ??? ( A cockroach story )

Coward. Mousy. Timid. "Hum".
Do these words truly describe me ?....Maybe.Possible.

Anyway...I was locked in a "cold" war with the fiercest of beast....a mighty cockroach. There it was, lying with its back against the ground, seemingly immobilised and rooted to its awkward position it got itself into beside the washing machine in the kitchen. There I was, both hands clutching sheets of tissue paper, deliberating on means of disposing it. For the record, I think the face off with the cockroach took about twenty minutes before I actually plucked up enough courage to flush it down the toilet bowl. Amusing. Hilarious. Absurd. The entire episode may seem rather insignificant, mundane and pretty.....stupid. Furthermore, local singer Guo Mei Mei's newest music video, something about not being afraid of cockroaches, certainly did the matter no help.Yet upon pondering over the matter, a fearful thought shrouded my mind. If I could not even handle a cockroach.....what more the challenges of life ?

I always perceived life as a rocky journey of challenges, yet sometimes, upon setbacks, I tend to allow fear to seep into my inner self, to allow that moment of darkness to erode whatever minute self confidence I actually possess. I yearn to live purposefully with courage and ideals abound, to lead a life of little regrets, hence perhaps to achieve my vision of moulding a future I crave so much, I would first have to lose my frequent sense of insecurity and be more assured of myself. Dare to dream. Dare to live. Dare to live my dream.

Thoughts of an RP..Episode 1

Brothers in arms

To sing, to dance. To cry, to laugh.
We all share the same passion and drive.
Though fate has challenged in our own ways,
Brothers in arms we will always be one.


{Sleep} ZZZ

The silver moon perched itself atop the bleak starless night,
darkness cloud my vision as I gently close my eyes.
A cool breeze calms my racing pulse,
alluring me into a surreal state of deep slumber.

The routines commonly associated with being an RP can be rather mundane, even downright boring. It is certainly not an easy task being one, considering the fact that one tends to feel unappreciated most of the times, especially during the peak hours. Adding on the burden of having to bear the brunt of much sarcastic and obscene remarks, one is also always engaged in a fiercesome battle to keep awake. Well, can't be helped. Whoever says life is a bed of roses ?

Anyway, life goes on. I promise to be strong. I promise I will not buckle under pressure. I promise I will complete my NS in one piece.

Take a little walk down Memory Lane

Do not feel sad, for she had never really left.
Do not cry, for tears will not bring her back.
Do not reproach upon oneself, for this is God's will.
Yet above all,
Do not lose faith, for there's a reason for everything.

Maybe it is God's will, perhaps it is fate, yet probably it is all of the above. The time in army has really made me sit up and think of many things in life, some of which are shrouded with an aura of seriousness such as the future path I would have to undertake as well as the type of life I desire. However, some of which are of plain silliness such as how would my future wife and kids resemble, yet there are also moments where I get to be alone and recollect memories of the many wonderful people I had met in my life.

Sometimes when someone close has departed from the mortal world and begin a voyage after life, one often only perceive that the person has left us physically, yet one should always remember that rather than feeling a sense of loss, perhaps from a different perception, one would see that one had gained more than loss. The departed soul had instead bestowed upon the living a most beautiful and pristine gift, memories. Perhaps one would realise that after losing someone, despite leaving behind only simple memories, it had in fact made the living more appreciative of the person, always wanting to cherish every single little threads of recollection and memories of the person who had made a change to one's life.

The above short verse may sound rather cliche, yet I still believe it is the thought that matters. I would certainly admit I am no poet capable of producing profound phrases, still I would like to dedicate it to my Primary 6 Maths and Science tuition teacher, Mrs Quek, who had departed from this world I know. It may be a little late, considering that she had left a few years ago, yet the guilt within me still haunts me for losing contact with her all these years. I am very grateful to her for painting my perception of maths with vibrant colours and for inducing my passion for the subject, yet though I do not even have a photograph of her, I constantly seek solace in her memory and the fact that I had been presented a chance by fate to continue her legacy, the art of imparting knowledge to the young and seek more to resume her cause.