Peek into the Past

For too long a time all 21 years of me have been lamenting on the "what if-s" and " if only-s" in my life...
What if I had put in more effort...If only I had persisted....perhaps I would have some achievement to prove myself........special.

Maybe it is the effect of belatedly catching on the Heroes fever and watching too many episodes or more likely having caught glimpses of familiar faces on the recently concluded SEA games held in Korat, Thailand, over the television.

It would perhaps eternally be remembered as an embarrassing phrase of my life. I was a member of my primary school swimming team and had a chance to gain acquitance with future luminaries of Singapore's swiming fraternities. Whilst people like Lim Zhi Cong and Marcus Cheah were already winning medals and breaking records, swimming meets to me then were like a prolonged moment of agony for I could count myself lucky if I had not finished last in the race.

As I watched from the very comforts of my home the once familiar look of intense concentration prior to the race and the flow of jubilation upon their triump....I was just glad that they never did lose sight of their aspirations...of which I cannot lay claim to.

Well....though I have chosen to live a life different to theirs...I am optimistic that perhaps someday I would finally find something I am good at...to prove not only to people but also to myself that I may be "special" after all.....

PS: the last comment of me having an innate desire of grandeur could most likely be attributed to the withdrawal symptomes of watching the Heroes series...

Tv can sometimes be such an addiction.